On Wednesday, September 7, 2022, I lost a very good friend.
Although I’m happy that we were able to meet before she passed away, the circumstances before she left this earthly plane were forever etched in my memory.
My siblings went to Manila on August 25-30. It was the twin’s (Alpha and Omega) first time to be onboard a plane, visit National Museum of Fine Arts, and UP Diliman. While we have our group itineraries, I had my own personal itineraries—meeting with my close friends who live in Metro Manila.
I scheduled my whole Monday, August 29, a national holiday, with Jai and Aries. The last time that we met, had dinner, and talked at Krispy Kreme near CCP Complex, was 2019. I waited for Jai and Aries, while sipping my iced cold coffee at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, UP-Ayala Techno Hub. At around 10AM, they were on their way.
They then picked me up, and we went to Quezon City Memorial Circle—a place where they used to “date” as a married couple, according to Aries, when they lived in PHILCOA. I left my Biscocho and Butterscotch pasalubong at the backseat, went out of the car, and we walked towards the restaurant area of QC Memorial Circle.
Jai asked: “Nag-hug na ba tayo?”
We haven’t. So, I hugged Jai and I hugged Aries, too.
Then we talked about our life updates, mostly mine, while walking towards Tropical Hut, the last few remaining branches that remained. Recently, Tropical Hut had its resurgence.
While Aries and I ordered, I asked Jai if she wanted halo-halo, forgetting that she doesn’t like any food that the ingredients are mixed together. It was up to Aries and I to eat Tropical Hut halo-halo. When I went up to Jai, she chose the seat towards the side of the place, but far enough from others who were also eating during that time. The problem was, the other side of the bench was a bit dirty. We changed tables. We both liked where we were and sat.
I told her that we should take pictures because in the past, we haven’t taken pictures when we met. I first took a selfie holding my phone, and asked her that she take the pictures next while she holds the phone so that my face would not look big in photos. Then Aries joined us and we took more photos.
When our food arrived, and we started eating, exclaiming how delicious and sumptuous the food is, Jai complained of a headache. She kept on saying, “Aray” and would massage her head. Aries and I wondered if it was migraine. Aries advised Jai to put the cold bottle of water on her head to alleviate the pain, somehow. But the pain would not stop.
Jai kept complaining how her head is being pricked, and that it was really painful. In the middle of her excruciating headache, she said:
“Buti na lang nakapag-picture na tayo.”
I was already alarmed, and so was Aries. Because the pain would not stop. Jai was already tearing up from so much pain. Aries and I mentioned the emergency room. I went out of Tropical Hut to find a cab. I could not find the exit out of the QC Memorial Circle, so I asked help from the first person I found, who happened to be working in the park. He called for a cab, but it was taking longer than usual and I was already panicking.
Then, I instead checked if there were available 6-seater Grab Cars in the area. Good thing there was someone who picked up. I went back to Tropical Hut, and informed Aries, through the glass window that a Grab Car is coming. Jai has already fainted, and the other Tropical Hut employees were crowding around her. Jai has slumped against Aries’ body.
I waited for the Grab Car to arrive in the restaurant area. He said that he was in front of Max’s restaurant. The cashier who received our orders gave back the money that we paid for our food. Then the male employees of Tropical Hut, helped Aries to carry Jai to the car. Jai started vomiting.
I brought with me her purse, and her canvas sneakers, opened the door to the passenger seat. Aries and the male employees carried her and positioned her sitting at the back of the car. Jai would not stop vomiting. She was also crying, and I hear Aries asking the driver to go faster. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I was almost paralyzed from fear.
I can only imagine what Aries was feeling during that time.
The driver of the Grab Car blared his horn around QC Memorial Circle, and we arrived at East Avenue Medical Center triage area. While on the way to East Avenue Medical Center, the driver said that we should have called an ambulance. I said, it was an emergency.
When we arrived at East Avenue Medical Center, I said at the triage, “Emergency po. Pahelp naman po.”
The doctor said, “Ibaba nyo po ang pasyente.”
We kept asking for a stretcher or a wheel chair but there was none. The doctor kept insisting that “ibaba daw muna ang pasyente.” I saw a monobloc chair, and because the Grab Driver was already shouting to the ER Doctor, I went inside the entrance and picked the monobloc chair. I was oblivious to the quarrel between the Grab driver and the ER Doctor. I just heard the doctor say: “Bakit nyo po ako sinisigawan?” to the Grab Driver.
Aries and I carried Jai from the passenger seat of the car, to the monobloc chair. Then the Grab Drive mentioned about car wash. I took a bill from my coin purse, and thanked him profusely.
Aries single-handedly dragged the monobloc chair to the doctor in-charge of triage. The doctor asked what happened. The guards though calm outside, showed panic in their eyes—one of them brought a stretcher and Aries, together with the orderly and I, lifted Jai. While Jai was lying on the stretcher, she started vomiting again. Aries said that she might not be able to breathe so the guard adjusted the stretcher so that Jai could incline her body.
I was given a form to fill out while Aries stayed with Jai in the stretcher. I had no ballpen with me, so I looked for one at the table for filling out forms.
Then, I was instructed to knock at a room. I did, and the orderly and Aries pushed the stretcher outside the room, beside the entrance to the Emergency Room. After a few knocks, a doctor in a PPE went outside and asked a barrage of questions.
What happened?
Can she move her arms?
Does she take maintenance meds?
Does she take illegal drugs?
Will you approve of intubating the patient when needed?
When Aries was asked the latter question, he answered: “Kung yan po ang makakapagpagaling sa kanya, sige po, opo.”
She also stated a disclaimer that though a public hospital, patients and family of patients need to pay Php5000 for the CT Scan.
I was mute. I did not know what to say. I was holding on to Jai’s purse and sneakers for dear life. After the barrage of questions, the doctor went inside. She also advised that there will only be one “bantay” in the emergency room and that there are no private rooms available, plus they have a COVID-19 positive patient inside.
The doctor gave me a form to fill out, and I was advised to let someone in the admitting section sign a certain portion of the form. I filled out the form based on my memory of the details about Jai. When I went inside, the admitting section asked me the barangay of Jai and Aries’ residential address. I blanked out, and I forgot to pull out my phone. Jai’s postal address is saved on my phone Notes. The ones in the admitting section left the barangay blank, signed the form, and logged Jai’s details on the log book.
Then I went back to Aries. He was still standing with Jai. Jai seemed to have calmed a bit, her eyes were closed, she was not vomiting anymore. I knocked at the room (where the doctor came out and asked a barrage of questions), several times.
While waiting for the doctor to come out again, Aries asked me to call Jai’s family. Some of the numbers cannot be reached. But we kept trying.
Then the doctor went out and after looking at the form, she gave Aries a PPE. She then advised that the form request for CT Scan be brought to Window 1.
I left Jai’s purse and sneakers on the stretcher and went inside the hospital. It was a maze. I asked a nurse that I saw and good thing, she works in the radiology department. She took a photo of the request, sent it to her colleagues, then went with me inside where other sick people were waiting and directed me to Window 1. While walking with her, she asked where the patient was. I answered her questions.
When I arrived at Window 1, I handed out the request form, went back to where I came from, saw very sick people in the Emergency Room, and exited the hospital. When I went back, Jai has already been wheeled inside the Emergency Room.
I wanted to stay there until I could see her again.
We were only talking about a few life updates earlier in the day. I had so much to share. But my friend was fighting for her life, and all I could do was stand outside the Emergency Room in the blistering heat of the sun.
I decided to walk towards the other patient families, sitting under the shade of a tree and waited. I also messaged Jai’s father and sister that she is in the Emergency Room. After a few minutes, I received a call from Jai’s stepmother. I told her what happened and that Jai and Aries are already inside the Emergency Room. They said, they’re coming.
It was August 29, 2022. National Heroes’ Day.
We were due to have our flight back home, August 30, 2022 at 4:10 in the morning. The flight was delayed but I went back home, worried and scared for Jai.
And yet, I’m assured that she will fight through.
When Mai, Jai’s younger sister, asked me to relay, via Messenger Voice Call, what happened on Monday, I did. Mai updated me that Jai was critical Tuesday night. I couldn’t stop crying. There were only a few friends that I have in this world, and Jai was one of them.
Mai then told me, via Messenger, that Jai needed to have an operation. Aries also shared that they will transfer Jai to a private hospital, which Mai said was Heart Center. The neighboring hospital of East Avenue Medical Center.
In a series of chats, Mai shared that Jai needed an operation. The first operation was successful, the bleeding was stopped. Another brain operation was needed to remove the clot from her brain.
After the second operation, Mai shared that Jai was able to open her eyes, and she was able to move her arms. Her Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS) was also at 8, which was a good indication that she was fighting through.
On September 6, Mai told me that Jai’s GCS was at 3, plus she developed an infection. Thus, her doctors would have to consult an infectious specialist.
When I asked Mai how Jai is on September 7, she replied back:
“Wala na siya.”
I wept. I wept, human as I am, that even though I would see Jai on the other side, and that she would meet me running when I enter heaven’s gates, I wept because I would never be able to chat with her. My Messenger chats would be unanswered, I would never see her and talk to her during my Metro Manila trips. I wept because I lost a very good friend.
In my previous blog, the one which I wrote during her 35th birthday last June 11, I talked about Jai being one of my prayer warriors. During the Manila trip with my siblings, I asked her to pray for our trip because I was feeling anxious. She replied back:
“Lagi naman.” (Always.)
Jai is one of my very few friends whom I never lost contact with after the many seasons that I experienced in my life.
In one of our conversations during the deaths of our mothers, Jai said that someday, when the time comes, and it’s already her time, losing her Mom would mean that someone in heaven would come running, to celebrate her arrival in the pearly gates. It gives her joy and hope.
While we were walking towards Tropical Hut at Quezon City Memorial Circle, Aries mentioned that they were planning to visit Iloilo again. I was looking forward to that plan.
But in spite of the loss and the pain of losing a friend, I am hopeful that someday, I will see Jai again. I may never talk to her again, but I’m happy she is with her Savior.
Losing Mama, and now Jai, I could give up at life.
There was a moment where the compulsion was strong to drown myself. I felt like I was drowning all over again. From tears. From grief. From weeping. From losing people who matter most.
But Mama wanted me to continue, and Jai wished on my birthday that we celebrate life.
As I write this, I think of Jai, of Mama, and the legacy they leave behind—that this world is not our home. We’re just sojourners in a temporary voyage. A life lived in selfless surrender to the plan of the Master is what matters. They have been very bold at facing death head on, because “it is not death to die.”
For now, I weep.
I weep for the loss of a very good friend.
The Prodigal Kid 