I sat in the lobby of the College of Fisheries and Ocean Sciences (CFOS) building; I should have been attending the presentation of papers by esteemed professors at the Division of Social Sciences, but I ate my lunch late so I did not bother to walk from CFOS to the College of Arts and Sciences building. It was a five-minute walk, give or take.
Instead, I decided to write because it has been more than a month since I was admitted to the Community Development program of the Division of Social Sciences at the University of the Philippines Visayas. I felt like, finally, the pieces are falling into place.
For one, walking the pathways where my siblings treaded on, five of whom studied at UPV, seems like I’m retracing their steps—every bit of struggle and small wins were all a part of a grand design that led us to where we were.
I miss Mama though. When she was alive, she wanted me to study at the University of the Philippines Open University’s Bachelor of Education Studies program because she wanted me to be near to her, and so that she could see me more often. But when she died from metastatic breast cancer, my plans changed.
I initially deferred my admission to the Community Development program during the first semester, but the Universe has its way of drawing you in and redirecting you. When I received the email from the College Secretary that I could still process my transfer applications, I consulted one of my good friends, K, who advised to listen to the Universe.
I did.
Even if there were challenges in processing my admissions application, I pressed on because to listen to the Universe means I get to continue my life, through learning and through education.
During my medical exam at the UPV Health Services Unit, also known as the infirmary, I shared to K, that it’s a nice feeling to walk along the asphalt road, where trees sway in the gentle breeze of the hills and seas. I even told her that I love being in UPV because I could cry or weep, unmindful of what others would say to me.
True enough in my experience, with a month since I entered the roads, and the buildings at UPV, I felt like my existence has been stimulated by the readings, lessons, and the professors who encouraged us students to share. Some of the activities were very healing for me, as I get to look at the bigger picture of my community in relation to myself, and how I interact with the significant social issues that plague not just my life, but the lives of others that are also bravely living life one day at a time.
There were moments when I wanted to quit because of the daily exhaustion, mentally and physically, from the rigors of school work, and the challenges in my personal life. But the decision and the choice to continue was made all the more compelling as I look at the bigger narrative of why I have to do what I need to do.
The answer is simple. Like K used to say in her tattoo of Sylvia Plath’s quote from The Bell Jar, I aspire to be an essential component of my community, and the very people that exist in my space. For me to be able to help out, and to be able to understand society’s ills better, I need to dig deep down, through education, of what it means to be a vital component, and crucial part of the community where I exist.
For the longest time, I really wanted to study leading towards a bachelor’s degree. But more than anything else, my approach coming into UPV, was all about learning more, and gain a deeper understanding of what it means to exist, and to thrive as a community.
In my Social Sciences 5: Understanding Gender, where my teacher Ma’am Alice Prieto-Carolino, is also my academic adviser, I have learned that women play vital roles despite the patriarchal society that we grew up in. In one of her class discussions, I remember fond memories of Mama—doing household chores, and checking up on me from time to time.
I have also learned to be more accepting of others’ stories and contexts, and to, at least, view their narratives based on the lens of where they are coming from.
Because I’d like to be understood this way too. To be accepted, and not be ostracized by my beliefs and biological age, in pursuit of the things that really matter, and in pursuit of the bigger picture.
My game plan with Doc Victor Amantillo, has always been to take everything one semester at the time. Enroll, pass subjects, enroll, then pass subjects, until such time that I would finish my program. And so I have conditioned myself to not just do the bare minimum, but to have fun in my courses, and to absorb as much knowledge as possible.
I would listen intently to my classmates sharing, reciting, or giving highlights of their learning. There are some negative energies that I would feel when I read the room, but I have adopted James Clear’s baseline optimism which essentially means that I assume I’m on a “winning path until proven otherwise”. Also, I have reframed my mind into thinking that not everything is personal, and so where and when it matters, I care, but for things that are outside of my control, and that I deem as noise in the grand scheme of things, I don’t sweat the small stuff.
My main goal why I’m here in the University of the Philippines Visayas is to enrich my life. Although there were subjects that I have already taken in my Associate in Arts program from UPOU, or similar to the ones that I have already taken before, I still look forward to the activities and the writing assignments. I find joy in taking down notes, and underlining highlights of what my professors said.
These days, I feel like I’m a sponge.
I will not stay in UPV for long. Based on my study plan, I will be able to finish my program which is BA (Community Development) plus qualified electives, in four semesters, excluding this semester where I’m taking my remaining General Elective courses.
But while I’m here, I’m going to do my best in everything I do, and learn from the people around me, my mentors who are my teachers, and my community.
Life is incredibly short. And for most of my life, I have resigned to just coasting through the storms and woes and wait for my final destination.
These days, I’m taking my power back. I’m taking action, and I’m reframing my narrative in order for this one short life to matter—for others, for myself, for my family, and for my community.
CUB Trees
The Prodigal Kid 