The World According to Garp

Most often than not, I am reminded that the world is inclined at doing the evil things. The bad things. The vile things. The things that destroy lives. Things that damage relationships. Things that hurt people.

But time and time again, I encounter various circumstances that convince me otherwise. That the world responds to goodness. That even if sex sells, or gossip pervades, there are worthy causes that deserve one’s time, energy and resources.

Such is the nature of advocacies. One starts it out, tries it out, acts it out, strikes it out and follows it through. Starting something is easy. Committing to something and being consistent with that commitment is the harder part. I’m blessed to have been surrounded with passionate individuals committed to changing the world one book at a time. And the world according to Garp, hereon we shall call as a symbol of book-lovers, as a limitless world, only bound by goodness, kindness and love.

“There is good in this earth.”

Men, armed with strength, transporting the box of memories (c) Joy Nicolas

Men, armed with strength, transporting the box of memories
(c) Joy Nicolas

My 2013 In Review

I’m ending the year early. I’m aware that it’s 26 more days before the end of the year but I just want to declare that 2013 has been a good year. All the new experiences, new challenges and new endeavors that I found myself tangled in are pretty much what I’d still want to be tangled in with for 2014. “It was the best of times.” Yes. My rundown

1. Game of Thrones in my life. 2012 was reading the books. 2013 was downloading the episodes from 1 through 3.

Danny

Danny

Bran

2. Awesome encounters with Jose Rizal’s martyrdom. Again.

Gat Jose Rizal

Gat Jose Rizal

3. Exercised my freedom.

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4. Met really wonderful people.

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….among others

5. Caces.

(c) Aenon Velasquez

(c) Aenon Velasquez

6. Felt my heart break over and over again. But always sang UP Naming Mahal proudly.

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UP-Pep

Bea

UP-Jessie

7. Spent hours and hours discussing books in the UPOU Book Club.

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8. ROFLed myself out with Genelyn Sandaga.

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9. Finished A Dance With Dragons.

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10. Realized the value of Social Media.

2nd Wave Cover Photo

11. Moved on from my Extemporaneous mishap.

An_Ed

12. Said goodbye to Finn Hudson and said hello to The Newsroom.

RIP Finn Hudson.  1994-2014

RIP Finn Hudson.
1994-2014

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Pusong Maroon

Lately, I’ve been second-guessing myself. Not that the “feeling magaling” post affected me but because I’ve been walking most days of the week when I go to work. I would pass by ordinary citizens selling Sampaguita garlands, kakanin, and newspapers

Before the dawn of the Internet, one of my favorite vendors in the whole world were broadsheet sellers. I’ve always regarded them as Santa Claus. I could buy words and knowledge for just 20 pesos. In this Internet Age, I still buy newspapers from time to time especially when I can’t find my favorite column online but mostly, I use the web to browse for the latest news.

But it’s quite different when you see a headline in a newsstand in the streets.

Seeing the latest headlines and the reality that I always witness in the streets, it makes me want to think what my UP education is for. Today, with the sunrise as the perfect backdrop, I walked my way towards home and witnessed Philippine reality unfold before my eyes. Citizens waiting for the jeepney to bring them to their destination so they could earn money for their families. MMDA employees sweeping the streets. Women selling bibingka in front of the church. People garbed in their Sunday best, walking in a hurry for the Sunday Mass.

And then my thoughts wondered to why I’m still trying hard to earn my UP education. I think Oble answered me this Sunday. After stalking people on Facebook, I’ve read in a post the true meaning of the Oblation. Although I already know the essence after memorizing the second stanza in Dr. Jose Rizal’s Last Farewell, these words from Sir Gerry Lanuza, c/o Jhonry C. dela Cruz made my heart beat faster:

Its very name “Oblation” already connotes AGAPE. In AGAPE, one does not merely love; one is possessed by love. But it is important to remember that AGAPE is not a sappy, sentimental love of Hollywood capitalism. We love because that’s the expression of our being. UP Iskolar ng Bayan loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because the masses deserve to be loved, but because it is the nature of UP education to teach the Iskos to love the masses. It’s only by loving the masses that they are true to their nature and character. 

Mahal kita tulad ng pagmamahal ni Oble sa bayan: walang pagaalinlangan, palaban, tunay, dalisay, at handang ibigay lahat! Yan ang tatak UP!”

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Inihahandog ko nang ganap na tuwa
sa iyo yaring buhay na lanta na’t aba;
naging dakila ma’y iaalay rin nga
kung dahil sa iyong ikatitinawa

And maybe I’ve been haunted by my true purpose. The true realization of the reasons for my actions, my sleepless nights, my unwavering determination to finally, finally be true to my purpose. These things haunt me.

And I sometimes fear that my heart will give up on me.

But I believe that in the end, when everything becomes dead and loses it’s reason to live, the heart will still continue to beat. Will still fight to live. And will still pump the blood that has always given life to every part of the body. It just has to love. Because love cannot die.

Corny?

Maybe. But I think, this is what you get when your heart beats not for yourself alone. But for the people.

And then you forget yourself.

Well, what can I say. Walking is therapeutic.

The Original Oblation from UP Manila, brought to UP Diliman after World War II. It is now housed in the Main Library.

The Original Oblation from UP Manila, brought to UP Diliman after World War II. It is now housed in the UPD Main Library.

I Survived Caces

The last name Caces in PE at Diliman denotes fear, survival and discipline. May kasabihan nga eh na if PE mo si Caces, major in PE ka. O kung gusto mo lumakas, enlist in Ma’am Caces’ class.

June 6, 2013. Thursday. 10-11 AM. We, together with Jessie Kidd Tan, entered the Weights Room. We were already informed by Tiffany Franco that if there’s one teacher to avoid in PE, it’s Ma’am Caces. Nevertheless, as we wanted to adjust to our schedule, we chose Caces. We could have picked Fin Swimming or Line Dance but Jessie didn’t want anything to do with dancing so, lo and behold, we were the few chosen ones to be in Ma’am Caces’ class.

First day was all about setting expectations. We were 21 inside the room. When she arrived, she had this commanding presence. I remember sitting straight and really listening intently at her while taking down notes. One of the things that she said was that we were required to shave our heads. I looked at the Korean-looking student in the room with blond, long hair and stifled a chuckle. He seemed to be looking amused too. The next meeting, I never saw him again.

We were also told that if we do not like her rules and policies, we were welcome to drop her subject and change mat. I wasn’t going to do that. Lining up to get a slot alone was a killer so I conditioned myself that I’d follow all her rules and survive her class. After all, it’s just Weight Training.

Little did I know that hers was a different kind of Weight Training.

When we were already given our program, 12 exercises, with back extension being the most challenging of all, in Jessie’s words, nakakasuka, Ma’am Caces would ensure that we perform the program religiously and that we follow her advice.  We were allowed to be stupid but personally I really wasn’t thinking most of the time when I blurted out something especially when she was just standing nearby. One time, when I was spotting for one of our group mates (we were three in a group, Jessie, me and the other one who dropped the class in the middle of the semester), Ma’am Caces advised my group mate to put his feet on the bench. I repeated what she said but because I’m not myself when she’s around, I blurted out, “Feet on the bar.” She looked at me and said, “On the bench. Uulit ka na nga lang, mali pa.” I dunno what my reaction was at that time but I willed myself not to laugh, afraid that she’d take it as an insult.

We were not allowed to be late in her class. Training starts 10 minutes after 10 AM and she would close the door when it’s already time for class. Latecomers were never allowed to enter. We can’t go out of the room to pee and we were advised to bring water, towel and be in our UP Phys. Ed. uniforms.

More than her being strict, Ma’am Caces is also fond of giving pep talks. She would often say to us that when we meet a classmate in the hallway, we say hi, wave or shake hands. After class, when she marks our tickers, (the notebook for the record of our exercises) it’s an unwritten rule to say thank you. And when you say thank you, she really says welcome. She also told us that once we shave our head, the hair would grow back and it would even become better.

At most four months in her class made me enjoy reading the Overheard posts about Ma’am Caces. I also posted one:

from Narinig ko sa UP FB group

from Narinig ko sa UP FB group

The post happened around the time when I was absent from her class once and then our program changed. I performed the exercises with a different group and then Jessie was grouped with Aenon Velasquez. During that time, we were around 9 students left. Until two of my classmates got sick and were advised by Ma’am Caces to drop her class for having maximum number of absences allowed. I lifted weights with John Andrew Tioco and sometimes with Mark Oller Ian De los Reyes.

John Andrew, most of all, had a hard time during Caces class because he still had a GE in AS and he would sprint from AS to CHK just to be in time. Or else he couldn’t enter the room anymore. There were times when he was really late for class and Ma’am Caces told us that if ever we open the door for someone who was late, we’ll stay with that person outside too.

During the last few weeks of Modified Deadlift exercises, Ma’am Caces had a side comment for Jessie: “Ito ma-iinjure to.” The reason was because Jessie’s legs were not in proper position. And voila, Ma’am Caces gave her fearless forecast.

I also “suffered a great deal” from her comments. There was a time when she scolded us for being absent too many times. And then I had to answer back, “Isa lang po absent ko Ma’am.” Or that when she changed my program and she provided the weight for Forward Lunge with Arms Raised and I was having a hard time, she told me:

Mali ang ginagawa mo!”

“Ma’am 8 lang po kaya ko.”

Oo, pero mali pa din. Your arms should be raised.”

Sabi nyo po kasi 10 lbs.”

“Okay but next time use 5 lbs.”

The whole semester, I tried as much as possible to avoid her side comments so I was wickedly happy when she focused on Jessie’s group. Lol.

Finals proved to be a disaster. I almost had to doubt myself if I’d pass her class although I was never late and I was only absent once.  (Although right now, our grades are not released yet but I’m crossing my fingers that I pass.) We had this one exercise, (which I am not allowed to reveal here), wherein I was really having a hard time to complete. I did not even pass in that exercise. Add to that her comments while I performed the exercise in front of her. She was even cranky that day because she threw her record sheet on the mat when two of my classmates were absent the previous meeting and were not able to submit their tickers. It was the second-to-the-last meeting.

The last day in Ma’am Caces class proved to be a breeze. My worries turned to dream dusts. I performed the remaining exercises, and as she told us, “Class this is our last meeting. We are not going to meet anymore”, I felt empty. Like I was conditioned for her being harsh. And I was looking forward to her Pep Talk on virtues that we students should possess. She was able to compare deceptions of humans to apes but she never really elaborated on the comparison.

After class, Aenon asked for a photo op but she declined kasi baka daw kulamin namin siya. She instead offered to take a picture for the last six standing in her Weight Training class. I was among them. And I was very proud.

After the photo op, we said our last thank you’s to Ma’am Caces and she walked with us outside of the room. She said, “Sana may natutunan kayo. Even just in your attitudes.

I sure did. More than attitude, I learned that, “The harder you work for something, the harder it is to surrender.” I found this thought written on a bond paper inside the Weights Room. These words summed up my Caces adventure.

And here are two of our pictures minus Ma’am Caces. (She took the photo for us.)

(c) Aenon Velasquez

(c) Aenon Velasquez sitting; from L-R: Jessie Kid Tan, Mark Oller Ian De Los Reyes, Daniel Tayamora, John Andrew Tioco and moi

The Final Six

The Final Six

The Ruins

Right now, my heart breaks it almost bleeds hatred.

And disappointment. I wish I could say “I didn’t sign up for this.” I didn’t sign up for mud-slinging. I didn’t sign up for inconsistencies. I didn’t sign up for poderoso people. I didn’t sign up for lackadaisical talk about this and that. I signed up for something because I believed in the cause it represents. And then when you suddenly find out that some are satisfied on half of the accomplishment and then leave the other half to materialize from thin air and then fend for their own, it makes my heart ache.

But who am I to question the workings of the universe? Who am I to defy the laws of physics? That friction is caused by a resisting motion of an object when in contact with another? Who am I to judge people who spare their time under the tapestry with the label serving the people?

I am just an average student after all. I do not even know how to write a friggin’ thesis. An embarrassment.

Some are just too enamored with what?

What’s in it for these people?

Fame?

Power?

Glory?

Service?

Or everything is just done in the name of Serving the People?

To what extent, Ma’am/Sir? When will this bickering end?

The world shall speak of your wondrous acts ladies and gentlemen. But never forget that the foundations of the earth, one that will never be removed forever, was created in simple strokes of humility.

One of my favorite teachers in Christian Education of Children, Mommy Dhal, used to let us read Psalm 8 before the start of the class. I have memorized it before the end of the semester. Her life is a testament of genuine humility. Of compassion. And today, in spite of all the clamor in my mind, I am reminded that I shall focus on the good. On the fruit of the Spirit. Such is the promise that I claim, and such is the attitude that I should have.

Psalm 8

1 O Lord, our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in all the earth,
Who have set Your glory above the heavens!

2 Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength,
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.

3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
4 What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?
5 For You have made him a little lower than the angels,
And You have crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
7 All sheep and oxen—
Even the beasts of the field,
8 The birds of the air,
And the fish of the sea
That pass through the paths of the seas.

9 O Lord, our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in all the earth!