Miag-ao Memories | The Prodigal Kid

For most of last year, and the early months of this year, I have come to realize that there are places and spaces that I can call home. Like how I have considered Antique as one of my homes, even if I do not stay there anymore. I also consider Guimaras my home, as it was where I grew up, and where Mama’s parcel of land is, and where she is buried.

But when I entered the portals of the University of the Philippines Visayas, I was not ready to leave my other home, Iloilo City. For four months, I would travel from Mohon Terminal via modernized jeep to Box 1 in Miag-ao and walk towards my classes in CFOS, CAS, and CM.

Now that I am moving finally to Miag-ao where would I spend my next days pursuing and completing my bachelor’s degree in Community Development, with a plan to double major in Psychology, I feel scared and sad. I was advised by my psychiatric doctor, Doc Victor Amantillo, to be realistic in my pursuits and in my decisions, and one of the examples of being realistic, is to stay close and near to UPV.

I’m finally moving to Miag-ao this week.

And though, before, I felt dislodged and displaced when I moved from Antique to Iloilo City, which I’ve written in my book Transience: A Journey on Grief and Coming Home, this time, I feel a little bit sad but assured.

I look forward to the moments when I could walk towards the shores near the Ocean Weather Laboratory, and where I could sit in silence, or swim in solitude.

I look forward to going to Miag-ao “tinda” and establish new sets of routines, and immerse myself with the community, and the culture. While I had routines which I have established in my years of stay in Villa, Arevalo — like going to the Arevalo Public Market and eating at my favorite carinderia, or buying grocery from Iloilo Supermart-Arevalo — there’s a certain level of comfort and assurance that I could build relationships and create memories while I live in Miag-ao.

I look forward to the moment when I would not be able to sleep, and I would walk to 7/11, the only open establishment in Miag-ao after 9PM. I look forward to riding the TRINX mountain bike which my sister encouraged for me to bring to Miag-ao. And I look forward to the new SM Hypermarket that’s slowly being built, brick by brick.

While there are things and moments that I look forward, there are also things that I would miss terribly in my access and my convenience in Iloilo City. I will miss the times when I would go to SM City, 30 minutes before the closing of the mall, and savor the feeling of peace. Or when I would eat at Jollibee Atria in the middle of the night, because I was craving for Chicken Joy.

But I have always considered myself a sojourner in the spaces where I occupy. And this move is another milestone, a sign that there’s life, because as per a World War Z line, movement is life. It means I am in pursuit of what the Lord impressed in my heart to pursue, and because I claim God’s promise that He will walk before me, in each of my journeys, I am assured of His guidance and His provision.

I hope Mama is proud of how I am able to handle the changes in my life.

Because I am giving a tap on my back for having the tenacity and the courage to follow where I am being led.

Most of all, I look forward to creating memories in Miag-ao, where I have been retracing the steps of my siblings, and my cousins, and where I would be immersed in the economic activity of a town and its people.

I’m not going to stay long in Miag-ao. I have a goal, and that goal is time-bound and specific. But in the future stories, and in the future essays that I would write, I am excited to make Miag-ao a big part of the setting, and the space where I could glean its perspective and its narrative. I am excited to experience how the place would become a blessing to my spiritual life, and to my personal life as well.

I guess, in God’s grand design, there’s a perfect reason why, at a time in my life when I am constantly changing and evolving, and that my mental health is being challenged with the application of my coping mechanisms, from all the years of psychotherapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy with Doc Amantillo, there’s a reason why I am moving from the bustling spaces in the city, to the terrain and the shores of Miag-ao.

By faith, I am leaving my comfort zone, and I am following God’s perfect will.

I am also glad that before I live full-time in Miag-ao, I was exposed to the beauty and the rich heritage of the town through my Arts1 class. I was able to experience and understand the context of the culture, including the Salakayan Festival.

While I feel sad with leaving my apartment, a witness to my sleepless nights, and my breakdowns and meltdowns, and my lying on the tiled floor when I am anxious with everything that’s happening around me, I am also letting go. I am letting go of the memories, and the dreams that were caught as I hung three dreamcatchers, gifted by various special persons in my life.

In my move to Miag-ao, I carry with me the green dreamcatcher that was hung in Mama’s hospital room at Iloilo Mission Hospital, was discarded at the morgue, but was retrieved by Doc Tin’s med school classmate. That dreamcatcher, which I call, Mothership, will continue its task in Miag-ao — to catch my dreams for myself, my family, my community, and for the ministry.

I am ready for you Miag-ao.

*May the memories that we make be as sweet and perhaps, bitter and sad, with the ones that I make while in UPV.