choice | The Prodigal Kid

Story 1: Obstacle Race

Three weeks before the third trimester final exams, I decided to go home and take them in the University of the Philippines Visayas-Iloilo City Learning Center. Little did I know that I was up for obstacles in my race towards the end of Term 3.

Obstacle 1

I decided to focus on my Science Technology and Society paper because I felt I had to make up for my mediocre participation in the discussion forums and the fact that this paper constitutes 40% of the final grade. My days were spent surfing the net in trying to understand the technological phenomenon that I have chosen. (Hint for future STS takers: don’t underestimate the subject!) But I never really started writing my paper because I had a hard time forming my thoughts. Something was missing. And I think I was having a writer’s block.

Obstacle 2

My NatSci2 Assignment 2 was something I looked forward to at the start of the course not because I am an expert at the given options but because I had to immerse myself in a book which I have read when I was a wide-eyed teenager. And so this book consumed most of my time which should be spent in reviewing for the final exams. I think I did pretty well on that assignment considering the days I had to contend myself with so I could relive someone’s journey. Yes, I’m vague but this is not a Hum1 FMA or MidTerms so allow me to be vague.

Obstacle 3

Humanities 1: Literature and Society was one of the courses I was excited to take because I felt that my heart would connect with whatever writing assignments we had to complete. I was wrong. The second month in the term in this course proved to be traumatic. I was exposed to my weaknesses as a student, a reader, a writer and a citizen of the Republic of the Philippines. These words were shoved in my face: You’re not any better! Work harder! Read more! Analyze! Stop being too wordy! Be direct! Write from your head but don’t forget your heart!

Yes. This is obstacle in itself because I spent days nursing my bruised ego. But I never faltered. I retraced my steps and looked within me what my problem was. But, boy that hurt. Like hell. In the end I forgot ego, and started to learn. Like really learn.

I found myself imagining the worst things that could happen to me in this course. But what the hell? YOLO lang!

Obstacle 4

I did not breeze through my HTML and CSS assignments. When I was stuck at something, I’d find myself procrastinating for days and wallowing in my own pride. Yes, pride is my worst weakness (along with avarice, lust, envy and all the other sins that sprang forth when Eve ate that fruit in the garden). When I managed to concentrate, sleep well and refused to be boxed in a limited perspective did I finally understand how awesome HTML and CSS are. They’re predictable. But you get what you give.

Story 2: Murphy’s Law

Anything that could go wrong would.

I found myself fighting over technology during the last week of the term. My laptop must have felt the burden that it decided to give up on me, a day before the final exams. The good thing was that I was able to submit my assignments before the deadline and before laptop decided that it needed a fresh OS. (Remind me to try Spike Jonze’s OS from HER. So I could test if OS sex is really that, um, innovative.)

I had to wake up at 4am during exam day and take a two-hour bus ride from home to LC. It was like Pasay to Cubao on a Friday night replete with bumper to bumper cars except that I was taking a nautical highway: the road divides the mountains from the sea. I always get productive thoughts when I take this route but on that day, I was exhausted. I had one hour and a half of sleep, plus I had a serious case of anxiety attack at my impending NatSci2 Online Exam. The stakes were just too high. I shuddered at the thought of clicking the attempt quiz button in MyPortal. But well, I found out in the past that nerves are good. Makes me human. Sometimes kasi I think I’m the warg brother of Jon Snow.

When I arrived at the learning center, at 7:30, no one was there. So I spent reviewing about STS concepts. I panicked when after re-reading my notes, the LC Coordinator still did not apparate. So I tried to read more. But schedules are important to me so that when something goes off, I have a hard time adjusting. I shot an email to the LC then to my FIC (Faculty-in-Charge) and told them both that if ever I die from panic attacks, heart palpitation and brain tumor, I’d haunt their online accounts.

It turned out, I was just being impatient. After two and a half hours of studying and staring at the hallowed halls of UP Visayas-Iloilo City Campus, the coordinator arrived. I took my STS exam immediately. I conquered it. With my faculties getting sprains from the five-page essays I’ve written.

STS exam, Lunch and then off to NatSci2 Online Exam. Since my laptop crashed and I would waste time if I travel back home to take the exam, I settled in an internet shop popular to UP Students: Penguin. My brother used to study there daw (because I initially planned to take the exam at Netopia-too expensive) so I went inside, bumped into the affable Mialo Lacaden and talked about her MA class and marriage.

With NatSci2 exam done (cue in: “I did my best Mr Schue”, line from Glee’s Season 5 Episode 11), I bought myself soda to make my brain manic as it was about to go on full sleep mode. I savored the wind as it brushed against my face. I also had this unusual tension with someone I sat with on the bus. It reminded me of the many bus rides I took from Galleria to AIT every week. (Haha!)

My imagination was stifled by the reality that Hum1’s final exam was on a Sunday. I missed church for it. I woke up at 6am, skipped a time-consuming bath and attacked Hum1 questions like a loyal soldier. I was willing to die. To die for the sake of learning. Two hours after I immersed myself in analyzing texts, the desktop computer decided to shut down. Worst was that it would not power on again. I was about to question God for having such a bad timing but I decided to be solution-centric rather than clamor-centric. So I found myself in my bro’s netbook and glued myself there until 1.30 PM.

Hum1 was just hellish. Hell even.

Meanwhile, after finally having enough time to read my notifications, I relished at the Cheesecake Lover from Diliman LC and used my Lawrence Sanders, Jonathan Kellerman and Mary Higgins Clark info to track down the identity of the planet shaker. I already had an idea who that person is but because I love exclusives, it’s something that I’d keep to myself. After all, this action has sent a strong message: Lemon Square is the real deal. How about some ad fee there, Monde?

Epilogue

This term is about to end. UPOU will start its classes on September 6, 2014. Academic calendar shift. Yeah. Don’t wanna talk about it. I’m still reeling at the imbalance I was thrown into because of this issue.

For five months I don’t have plans. I stopped making detailed plans. I’d probably celebrate birthdays with bros, Father, Lola, Titas. Plus I’d really want to attend the graduation of a good friend Jessie Kid Tan (he “intends to wear his Sablay twice”). And brother’s finally wearing his Sablay (hopefully since as of this writing, there’s no list yet) after 6 years in the Division of Biological Sciences after finally completing his special project. LOL! Maximum residency people rock!

This term, I’ve learned that I could choose the events that would unfold in my life. And I have realized that the most important things in life are people and your relationships with them. You choose a person to share your life with. It’s not fate nor destiny. It’s choice.

In the end though, it’s not the choice that defines us but how we made that choice.

This term is fraught with memories. I chose them. I consciously chose them. And I will find out the consequences of my choices in the coming months.

For now, I sleep to the rolling of the waves, wake up to the noise of the early birds at home and read to my heart’s content.

Thank you UPOU Universe. I’m grateful for the choices you have allowed me to make.